The question hit hard.
I looked down at my cracked knuckles.
"Both things can be true," I said. "But only one of them can lead."
"Which one?"
"Both things can be true."
"They need safety," I said. "So, I'll be that."
Andrea watched me for a long moment.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I'll do the visits, the checks, and the classes. I'll fix what needs fixing. But I won't ask two babies to heal me."
Her pen stopped moving.
"They need safety."
"I don't want them to save me, Andrea," I said. "I want to be a home for them."
Andrea finally wrote something down.
"Then prove it."
So, I did.
I cleaned the house. I stocked diapers. I asked Chris to check what I had missed.
I repainted the nursery. I kept it yellow because I couldn't erase Sarah. I could only make room.
"I want to be a home for them."
***
Months later, after no relatives were found, Emily and Grace came home as my foster daughters. The adoption came later, once the court cleared it.
I became Dad one mistake at a time.
I mixed up bottles, wasted clean diapers, and learned how to shop for little girls.
Years passed like that. Colds. School plays. Parent meetings. Two cakes because Grace wanted chocolate and Emily wanted vanilla.
I became Dad one mistake at a time.
After the case closed, Andrea returned the towels. I kept them in a cedar box.
I kept Sarah's photo in my wallet.
I kept Ivy's name quiet because I thought silence protected my daughters.
Then they turned 15, and the secrets started.
"We're studying after school."
"We signed up for a weekend thing."
Andrea returned the towels.
***
One Saturday, they came home tired and smiling too brightly.
I stood in the kitchen.
"You two have been gone a lot."
Emily opened the fridge. "We're teenagers."
Grace grabbed a glass. "You raised us to be responsible."
"We're teenagers."
"I also raised you to be terrible liars."
They froze.
For a moment, I thought they would tell me.
Then Emily kissed my cheek.
"We're okay, Dad."
I wanted to demand the truth. But fear closed my mouth.
They froze.
Deep down, I thought I knew.
Their adoption had never been a secret. Maybe they were looking for their birth family.
I had promised myself I would never make them choose.
So, I swallowed the question for three years.
